Pump You Up

Employers- are you looking for an employment defense attorney who will unquestioningly agree with every word you allege, gladly smear your opponent employee as “ridiculous” and a “liar” and the like, and write letters to your opponent (although more so written to you) proclaiming your organization will be “vindicated?”

Employees- are you looking for an employee rights attorney who will unquestioningly take your “slam dunk case” as you call it, who gladly promises to be more “aggressive” than the prior two attorneys you retained, and who nods and agrees that your case may well go to the Supreme Court because you’ll “never settle with those people?”

If you search long enough, and if you bring a big wallet along, you will eventually find the right attorneys to Pump (PAUSE, CLAP) You Up.

 

 

 

 

And at some point (well short of the Supreme Court or “vindication”) you will realize that you have spent a lot more money on legal fees than you needed to, and you probably WILL “settle with those people” (or, at least you’d BETTER).  And the settlement will be a disappointment to you as compared to what you had believed back when your attorney was vocal about pumping you up, and silent about the multiple risks of deflation.  But at some point you’ll see it’s better to cut your losses than continue to pay Hans and Franz’s membership fee.

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Filed under Employee Tip - Hiring an Attorney, Humor, Philosophy - Employee Rights

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